Immagine di Khusen Rustamov
I never gave much importance to my father's death and its effect on my life. I tucked it away under the category something unfortunate that happened when I was a kid. It felt as though I put all those unexpressed feelings, words and emotions into a little invisible jar and screwed the cap on tightly.
My mind must have known that this was a very important jar, because it found a safe place deep inside of me to keep it. As long as no one came along to bother the jar, it stayed tucked away and my life seemed at ease. However, the problem was that I couldn't keep it unbothered and tucked away forever. People did come along to disturb it.
Transitions In Life
My life as an adult woman began to change when I began having relationships with men. I couldn't understand why I was so angry and controlling. It scared me when I began acting more violently towards men. I didn't feel this was really me.
I was married at 23 and, at 30, was divorced. Then I married again, and, at 36, I was back in divorce court again. I didn't have a clue that my unhappy and unfulfilling relationships had anything to do with the little jar of bottled up emotions I carried around.
I needed to become complete with the leftover feelings from long ago
that I kept unknowingly dragging into my present.
I never allowed anyone to know just how much I really missed my dad. It was not until a diagnosis of breast cancer that I began to understand the seriousness of my disease. When I got beyond the fear, I made a commitment to do whatever it would take to get well.
I realized this cancer was a symptom of a much deeper toxic condition. Fortunately, there were many people around me who loved, listened and supported me through a year and a half journey back to health. I was gently guided back to the original me and to the event which triggered it all.
I also began attending support group meetings, meditation classes and seminars. I started reading books on self transformation and kept a daily journal. I had little time left for work. Taking care of myself was now my full-time occupation.
Separare il fatto dalla finzione
From this realization came startling revelations. I began to separate facts from what I made my father's death mean. This was a very important part of my healing puzzle. I realized that as an eight-year old, I made many unconscious decisions that were not true. Then, for the next 27 years, I lived according to these decisions.
I made up beliefs such as; Men who love me will leave me. I must work very hard to take care of myself and others. I must become super responsible for everything and everyone. I cannot take good enough care of myself.
I decided that I needed to find a man for that job just in case I couldn't do it well enough on my own. I also decided that I never wanted to end up like my mother — alone without enough money. I found evidence to validate my beliefs and allowed my beliefs to become my facts. I often enrolled other people in my stories. This allowed me to continue blaming the people around me. It also allowed me to remain a victim.
However through counseling, I soon forgave myself for what I didn't know. I began to understand that I had finally gotten to the seed that created all this disharmony in the first place.
I no longer had to live life through an addiction known as co-dependency. I could choose to clean up my past and stand in the possibilities of my future. I could begin to learn how to live. But first, I needed to become complete with the leftover feelings from long ago that I kept unknowingly dragging into my present.
Clearing The Past
My counselor suggested I meet my dad face to face through a process called psychosynthesis. With my eyes closed, my counselor guided me back to the last memories I had of my father. I brought up a picture in my mind of my family sitting around our kitchen table talking.
I was then asked to picture in my mind the part of myself that is wise and loving and to bring her into the room. A detailed image of her appeared. She stood in the middle of the kitchen, but the others could not see her. With a movement of her hand, she gently motioned for the little girl, which was me at eight years old, to come with her. She told me that she would take me to see someone who had something very important to tell me. I felt secure with her, got up from the table and took her hand.
"Non potrei insegnarti dicendoti.
Potrei insegnarti solo mostrandoti il mio esempio. "
She was serene and self assured. She guided me towards the bathroom door letting me know she would leave me in the little room, but would be right outside the door. I understood I would be safe and she would come back for me when I was finished. It all seemed very easy.
She opened the door and gestured for me to walk inside and closed the door. There, I was standing face to face with my father!
Message From Beyond
Era sano ed energico e indossava disinvoltamente abiti nuovi e mi guardava con un grande sorriso come se avesse aspettato a lungo di vedermi. Lo guardai. Mi sentivo eccitato. Si chinò e mi sollevò tra le sue braccia. Ho riposato il mio corpo sul fianco. Sembrava familiare, accogliente e più sicuro. Ci siamo solo guardati l'un l'altro e ci siamo abbracciati per un po 'prima che iniziasse a parlare. Mi aspettavo che avrei fatto la maggior parte del discorso, ma con mia sorpresa, ho parlato solo per rispondere alle sue domande.
My father did all of the talking. His first words to me were. "You know it is time for me to go now." His voice was gentle and direct. Looking into his eyes, I answered, "I know." There was no sadness or upset for either of us. I felt as if I understood all along where he was going.
He continued, "I have to go on to do more of my work. I came to this family to show them how it is to live and to be. How to love and be open to all people. People of all races and backgrounds. We are really all the same. Do you understand?" I answered, "Yes".
Dice: "Siamo parte di un gruppo di persone molto speciali che sono venute in questo mondo in questo momento per mostrare agli altri che è sufficiente essere solo. Dobbiamo insegnare solo l'esempio. Gli altri vedranno quell'esempio e saranno ispirato da esso La tua luce dentro di te si irradierà verso l'esterno e toccherà tutti coloro che hanno ancora dubbi e timori sul vivere.Questo è un lavoro molto speciale.È un lavoro per guarire il mondo.Un potere più grande di te mi ha mandato qui per iniziare questo lavoro in questa famiglia e ora ho bisogno di partire, ora è il tuo turno di portare avanti questo lavoro. Ho risposto, "Sì".
Guarda fortemente nei miei grandi occhi. Posso sentire la connessione tra di noi che provavo, ma ora è ancora più grande. Non percepisco la differenza nelle nostre dimensioni o età. Capisco che siamo venuti dallo stesso posto, ma è venuto prima e si sta preparando per andare in un altro posto adesso. Mio padre mi dice che ha aspettato molto tempo per me.
Dice: "Ci sono voluti solo otto anni per imparare ciò che sono venuto qui per insegnarti ad amare le persone e toccarne le vite. Non potrei insegnarti a dirti: potrei insegnarti solo mostrandoti il mio esempio. persone che costruiranno il ponte per far attraversare gli altri, poi collasseranno il nostro ponte e andremo avanti per raggiungere gli altri che vogliono attraversare un modo di vivere e di essere amorevole e pacifico. "
Still talking he says, "You are next in line to carry this message to this family. Obstacles have been put on your path, so that you can experience them first hand, go through them and show others they can do the same. Show them, through your example, that it is possible to change anything when you have a strong desire and willingness to give up the old thoughts."
He told me that as we each change ourselves, we change the entire world one by one. He says, "People will see your strength and courage and admire it, but remain humble and shine with the gifts of your original qualities."
I somehow understood what he meant even though he never told me that whose original qualities were. I knew they were peace, love, joy, knowledge, power, and purity of my every thought word and action. It felt as if we learned from the same teachers a very long time ago.
Mi ha detto che non avrei dovuto lavorare più duramente. Ho lavorato molto duramente in passato, ma non sarà così ora. Il mio lavoro sarà diverso perché sono diverso. Dice "Questo lavoro è molto importante". Ancora una volta sottolinea: "Capisci?" Io dico di sì.
Dice: "Fai sapere alla gente che siamo qui per amarci e per essere felici e pacifici." Questo è il nostro scopo. Con questo fondamento, tutto il resto andrà bene nelle nostre vite e nel mondo. essere difficile, lo rendiamo difficile invece di renderlo facile, tieni la vita semplice ".
Le sue ultime parole per me sono: "Ti guarderò crescere, farai bene". La nostra conversazione è completa e siamo entrambi molto silenziosi. Mi guarda di nuovo nei miei occhi. Posso sentire l'essenza di mio padre che esce e che entra in me in quel momento. Tutte le sue qualità vengono trasferite a me.
Ho sentito un grande senso di completamento, sicurezza e leggerezza. Si alzò e mi guardò mentre la porta del bagno si apriva. Ho detto "arrivederci" e sono uscito dalla stanza mentre la porta si chiudeva dietro di me. Sapevo che mio padre se n'era andato ma ora capivo perché.
Tutta questa esperienza è stata di grande valore per me. Ora, mi sento a mio agio e completo di tutti i sentimenti che ho tenuto rinchiuso e nascosto in tutti quegli anni. Non trascinerò più quei sentimenti nelle mie future relazioni con uomini e altri.
Sento che la mia ricerca nell'ultimo anno e mezzo è finita. Mi sento sano e salvo e mi rendo conto che l'amore e la pace hanno il potere di guarire. So che mio padre è sempre lì per me e che posso parlargli in qualsiasi momento.
Each year for the past twenty-seven years I have had a secret wish — to talk face to face with my dad. He left this world the day before my ninth birthday, and in many ways it felt like a clock inside of me stopped. Today is the next day, and my clock is running again. It is truly my happy birthday and my wish has finally come true. Dad. I love you.
In this groundbreaking work, authors Joel Martin and Patricia Romanowski share the dramatic firsthand testimonies of men and women who have connected with loved ones who have passed over. Providing compelling evidence for these experiences and offering new insight into the afterlife, Love Beyond Life is at once fascinating, comforting, and enlightening, an invaluable resource for anyone who yearns to make sense of life's final journey.
Juanita Mazzarella is a master healer, massage therapist and Reader of the Akashic Records with 25 years of experience. She provides a variety of healing services for regional clients at her location in North Canton, Ohio. In addition, she works with clients worldwide via phone and Skype, providing healing and answers to questions via the Akashic Records. Visit her website at JuanitaMazzarella.com/